Today's visit with my oncologist

I'm grateful my sister is in town and could take me to my oncologist appointment today. It's nice to have her support plus her ears and brain to verify what I heard.

The first good thing about this appointment was that my bloodwork from my ER visit on the day before yesterday provided enough information, and I didn't have to be stuck with a needle again.

And it's always a good sign when my oncologist comes in with a smile and seems to be feeling chipper. That immediatley relieves some of my worry.

My oncologist had taken some notes that she brought in with her. And what she said aligned with what I've been sensing and doing on my own.

I haven't taken Kisqali, the harshest drug, since last Wednesday (today is Tuesday). I've been so nauseated that I just could NOT make myself take it because it makes me even more nauseated. Plus my breathing was so challenged in the past week that adding any extra pain wasn't something I could actively choose.

And then last night I felt better overall than in more than a week, and maybe in more than two weeks.

I shared this with my doc. She was already thinking my breathing problems are probably a side effect of the Kisqali. My experiences line up with that.

So she wants me to quit Kisqali completely and in two weeks try a different drug that does the same thing as Kisqali, which is to target specific proteins (CDK4/6) that are in cancer cells. This one is Ibrance. I've seen it advertised on TV, just as I've seen Kisqlai advertised. She says that Ibrance often doesn't cause as many harsh side effects as Kisqali and is hoping that when I take it my body will tolerate it better.

She's hoping that in these two weeks before I start the new med that I'll start feeling a good bit better overall—and that specifically my breathing will improve.

She also prescribed a steroid just in case my breathing gets worse. She says if it does get worse to take the steroid for it to calm inflammation that might be causing some of my breathing problems. But not to take it unless my breathing gets worse.

My sense is that my breathing will continue to improve. Because it has indeed improved in the past 24+ hours. I think that as the Kisqali leaves my system I will feel better and better.

My oncologist thinks that will be the case. Fingers crossed that we're both right!

And, again on the same page as me, she said for me to wait for the infusion, the one that will strengthen my bones. I was thinking I'd tell her I'd rather wait until I feel better. But she beat me to the punch, saying I wasn't going to have that infusion today.

It sure feels nice to be on the same page with my doctor.

I left the appointment feeling a little relieved. And actually kind of happy! Happy that my doctor's thinking aligns with my intuition. Happy that I didn't have an infusion today. Happy that I have a prescription for steroids to calm inflammation IF I need them during this holiday season when it's so hard to get in touch with doctors (my oncologist will be on vacation next week, and I'd sure not want to have to bother her. She has a heavy job and needs time away with her family, time not to have oncology concerns weighing her down).

And I'm definitely happy to have some time away from needles!

I do have another appointment this week. On Friday I see a counselor who is listed on my oncology practice webpage under "psychosocial oncology." I look forward to meeting her and getting the kind of support she can provide. I looked her up online, and it sure seems she and I see the world in similar ways. So I expect Friday to go very well. I'm actually looking forward to it!

For now, though, I can focus on enjoying Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my sister. No needles. No doctors. No super harsh cancer meds (though I'm still taking a targeted med, one that doesn't "do" me so bad). That sounds mighty good to me!

I can enjoy a time of healing and recovery.

And a time of appreciating.

This holiday season we actively appreciate each other through gifts and time together. We acknowledge the many people and ways we are blessed through the year, and we actively choose to be together. We make plans, often far in advance, to be with each other, to honor each other with gifts and with our time.

For me these gifts manifest through my sister and her very supportive husband, through friends and other family who support me in such a big variety of ways, through medical caregivers who have dedicated their lives to taking care of others, through the many people who make my life easier.

That last category is gigantic...if I think of all of the people who are involved in researching, formulating, making, inventorying, transporting, delivering—all of the categories that are a part of getting products to me, whether medicine or food or devices or clothes or anything I use or enjoy—well, it seems the WHOLE WORLD is connected to me somehow!

And in this holiday season I like to think of everyone who helps me, whether directly or indirectly. Those of you who are reading this are among those folks. So I'd like to directly say THANK YOU. For anything you've done for me, whether it's been give me a ride or send or bring or pay for meals or get my mail or take out my garbage or send a card or flowers or gift or scoop the litter box or vacuum or check on me in a text or Facebook message or phone call or send good energy or send up a prayer (or two or three or a hundred) or any other way you've done something for me...

THANK YOU! Deeply, profoundly. I truly appreciate each one of you.

May you have a blessed Christmas or Kwanza or have had a blessed Hanukkah—or however you celebrate and acknowledge this solstice time of year—may you find joy whether in large or small ways.

May we ALL help bring love and peace to our world.

I know those of you reading this are doing exactly that!