I think this is called a "flare"

I've heard the word "flare" used about autoimmune disease symptoms and pain. I don't know if I have an autoimmune disease but I feel sure this is a "flare."

The pain has intensified. The worst pain started the day before yesterday and ramped up to excruciating yesterday afternoon and has cointinued today when I move certain ways. A friend asked yesterday what level the pain was. I said "nine" when I'm moving at certain angles.

I know stress has an effect on flares. I'm not consciously worrying about my upcoming scans. But that worry is there, lurking in the background.

My body is feeling that worry.

And what does that pain feel like?

Well, if you've ever pulled a muscle, it's like that. The muscle hurts when you move a particular way. When the muscle is cold, it's worse. When it's warmed up a little the pain is not as bad.

Yesterday it was my left hamstring that was yelping at the nine level. Anytime I had to bend to pick up or put down something, it was excruciating. Like picking up or putting down my two cats' bowls when I fed them. Like cleaning their litter box. Like emptying or filling the dishwasher.

I try to keep the things I use on a counter or table so I don't have to bend over. When I do bend over the big thigh muscles (on both legs today!) yelp where they connect to my pelvis. And they hurt when I lift my legs to walk. Or when I get up out of my recliner.

This is easily the worst flare I've had. Typically I'll have a painful few hours and then the next day it's much improved. A good night's sleep seems to help. But I slept well last night (and did have less pain in late morning) but boy, this afternoon it's been bad. I had to call on a neighbor for help with some of my daily chores. (Thank goodness for helpful neighbors! )

The pain is worse than the pain from my knee replacement surgeries. With them it hurt at those surgery sites. This pain covers almost all of my thighs, a much larger area. All the way around the top of my thigh. On my left leg the hamstring is the worst. On my right it's the bursar area that's worse. Usually it's only one leg. But apparently the stress of these scans has pushed me into new territory—double-leg-pain territory.

I know when I tense up with the pain that exacerbates it. But sometimes I can't seem to breathe into it. I just want to get to my recliner and get on my heating pad.

Thank goodness when I'm sitting still in my recliner I'm not in much pain at all. Right now my shoulders ache some, but I know that's from holding myself up as much as I can on the walker so that I take weight off my upper thigh muscles. Those shoulder muscles have been getting a workout!

Pain meds help but don't get rid of the pains.

Tomorrow I have the brain MRIs.. Then Tuesday it's the abdominal and spine CTs (and yes insurance is covering both). I hope NOT to have excruciating pain through these days so that I can get in and out of the appointments without suffering so much.

I'm hoping that just having the scans on the near horizon will relieve some of my anxiety—and thus the pain.

And I'm hoping for no bad news in the scans. I know that's the fear that's driving these over-the-top pains.

I hope to get beyond them soon.